Getting Deployed... Now I know

How are you supposed to feel when you decide to raise your right hand and take the chance of deploying for your country. Especially when you witness everyday selfish ppl that try hurting ppl here. Well I found out today after this past weekend of SRP, which is getting ready for the pre deployment physical. I am deploying with a unit other then my own, non the less it is our sister unit to our own. Well a lot of ppl kind of new it might happen but didnt really want to believe we might be one of the people. Well we got to our unit after the long weekend and we were in formation. When all of a sudden 1st SGT tells us that she was going to start calling off names and those ppl should post and stand behind her. She seemed like she was almost done calling names when all of a sudden i hear PFC Sanders. I said MOVING 1ST SGT and i ran into the formation behind 1st sgt and i was standing there looking at the non deploying ppl and it was really weird to be in that position. The ppl that were getting deployed out of my unit looked so sad. We dont have all the answers and things are constantley changing about our deployment. I dont really know exactly who to tell about it because no one of my friends really have been through this but I know they are always there to help me when i need it, even if i dont. I cant help but think about how Jason is going to take this. He really didnt want me to go in the first place. He will praobably be crushed. We talked about it before he left so it wont be the biggest surprise him. But if he is going to be content and know everything will be ok. i will feel a little more content with going. He is away as everyone following my blog knows, and i can not just call him and have a talk about everything. Instead i have to write a letter and i dont want him to feel bad. I want him to know how i feel and hear it in my voice. But yea idk whats in line for me with my deployment. I start training for it soon and i hope you all pray for me***