I'm all over the place... what to call this???

So today i went to my mother and father in laws cook out and i had a blast. I thought Jason would call today but i didnt expect it. Expecting is a way of letting failure in. So I'm sad he didnt call because i have a lot to ask and tell him. So I think i have his address wrong and i have written so many letter and i just really hope he gets them because i will be so bummed out. I think i know the right address but i pray he gets the other mail. I miss him like crazy.

So before Jason left we took care of everything together. if he needed money for any reason i could help him out and if i did he would always help me out. Well he's gone now and i have no doubt that i can take care of everything without his help, thats not the problem. Its just that when things go upsetting or not as planned i loved having his shoulder to lean on and for his encouraging words to help me see its not a big deal. Now he's gone and i get down about something little i know and i cant get back up, although i did today because of the wonderful family i have forcing me to say yes to play outside volleyball lol. hahah well yea thats that and I miss him so much.

I heard someone say today that you dont know how much you miss someone until they are gone. I remember before when me and Jason were just friends he said that my current boyfriend didnt know what he had until im gone and that if he had me he would know what he has and he would never loose me. He was so right. I missed him when he just ran to the store for something or while i was at work. i missed him whenever we werent together. I love being around him 24/7 and i know thats weird. i have never felt that way about ANYONE seriously***

for what your about to read all i have to say is...
Yea this is the last im going to ever think her up in my head again. She's a low life and i could punch her in the face.

But anyways Thanks for reading guys. I'm gonna just... idk write him a letter to what im sure his real address is. UGH!!!!!!!!!
Oh yea and Elisa he's mine ok do you want to see the ring??? Dont ever text him again. What are you 17? You said he's seriously cute... ok DUH you dont need to tell him*** Dont lie about what was said because uh duh i read all your text messages*** My hubby is gone and you dont see me texting his friends and ppl telling them to cheer me up because i cant handle it. Seriously grow up and wait for your guy without texting other guys and telling them how cute they are, Your lucky God is in my heart.